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发表于 2012-11-22 13:19:29
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豆腐no日常 发表于 2012-11-22 12:45
嗯嗯~支持蝴蝶组~~
于是我就搬过来改啦~
This week our school is celebrating(这个是正在发生的事情吧?注意时态哦) theScience and Technology Festival(这种随便怎么叫啦:p记得festival是专有名词的一部分,要大写哦)(科技人文艺术节。学校也没给英文。宣传部直接写的拼音Σ(゚д゚lll)),which is held once a year i n November.On(这里应该用on,不是in,注意介词) the featival ,we can join (attend一般指出席) plenty of activities,such as Competiton of PS and Top Ten Singers of School(PS比赛和十佳歌手是专有名词,大写,前面不用the).But in my point of view,the most attractive part in it is the Art Show(大写).Students are given chances (不用the,并且是复数,和students对应) to show their paintings and handwritings(这个不用大写) in the display(in the display?我们一般用这个来表示显示屏上的东西...). As one of the members of (这里不用the) Propaganda Department(大写,一般我们用department) in (不用the) Student Union(大写),I have the duty to collect(have sth. to do,不是doing) the works from each class(这里不用加es,和我们说each person...是一样的道理).In addition,I will be one of the judges of finals.(如果你是参赛选手,用你原来的这句话take part in the final discuss and elect,如果你是评委,用我放上去的这句,”我是决赛的裁判之一“)(最终评选。这样写可以么?)(删去However),When other students go to the display and assess the pictures,it is common that most of them give out (添加out比较好)the negative comments(记得加s,comments,意见,看法).What would be worse, is that(原句“What's worse”这不是一个从句),some of them like to touch the pictures,which would destory the them(删去了pictures,英语中忌讳重复). So I want to ask these (原为“call for this ”ask比较婉转,this是修饰单数的,students是复数,用these)students to pay( ask sb. to do) more attention to protect others works and give(同上一个) them more encourages(可数).Besides,the more works are (被动)put up in this display, the more successful the festival will be.
这篇很不错了=v=
the的用法可能要看下哦。
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