他发现了那个小秘密，终于知道他有多么爱他。         

      “It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he’d thought, long ago in some damn laundry, his dirty shirt, the pocket ripped, buttons missing, stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack’s own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one. He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose, hoping for the faintest smoke and mountain sage and salty sweet stink of Jack but there was no real scent, only the memory of it, the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands."
      ——  那是他自己的格子衬衫，原以为丢在倒霉的洗衣店了，脏衬衣，口袋扯破，纽扣不全，被Jack偷来，私藏在自己的衬衫下面,，两件衬衣象两层皮，一里一外，合二为一。他把脸深陷其中，口鼻轻吸哪怕是最微淡的烟味，山草，和杰克甘咸的体味，但实际一切无存，只有回味，追忆不复存在的断背山，和他手中紧握的所有”

        看完了断背山的小说，才知道电影结尾，Ennis手里拿的不只是Jack的遗物，而是现实世界中，唯一证明他们曾经在一起的证明。

        在之前Ennis下山时曾经无意地说过没想到会把衬衫落在了山上，其实是被Jack藏起来纪念了。

         这样的场景，让我忍不住想起《情书》的结尾，女藤井树发现藏在《追忆似水年华》中的借书卡背面，那幅对

她细致的素描，于是往事如雪花般散落，尽头是男孩藤井树动人心弦的暗恋。

       电影中两人后来的相聚还是在山色湖光当中，但是那并不是在断背山，原著中有说明，也许这个就是命运，他们再不可能一起回去，而只能作为永恒的记忆。也是印了那句张爱玲的《半生缘》中让人恸心的那句话：       “我们回不去了。”

        和电影一样，看的时候倒没有感动到流泪，大概也就是叹息，触动，在Jack凝望Ennis离去的时候，Ennis见到衬衣和最后的承诺的时候。总的来说整部都很平实淡然，不着痕迹，不过感染力勿庸置疑。

       He was a friend of mine,
       Every time I think of him,
       I can’t keep from crying
     ‘Cuz he was a friend of mine…